There are two types of people we classify as haters. One is a critic who comes from a place of love, another is a legitimate hater — one coming from a place of fear or envy. To be criticized with negative intention means that you have aroused something within someone else such as jealousy or a feeling of inadequacy. In order for the hater to feel better and elevated somehow, they need to put other people down. When someone condemns our work, comments unkindly on our appearance, judges our parenting style or disapproves of any of our actions, it is a pure and total reflection of them, not us. Take relief and comfort that a critic’s words often have nothing to do with you at all.
Here are six reasons critics can be a good thing in your life:
1. It means you are doing something
In order to be criticized, it means you are taking action in some form. Aristotle said, “The only way to avoid criticism is to say nothing, do nothing and be nothing”.
2. It can make you better
When criticism is positively fuelled and constructive, we can improve, learn and grow. I love hearing thoughtful and useful feedback about my writing and coaching style. I take it all on board and use what works for me.
3. The person shows you who they really are
Negatively fueled critics show us who they really are — often-unfulfilled people who are therefore naturally unsupportive of your life’s path. The way they react to what you are doing is a reflection of how they feel about their own lives.
4. Critics reassure us that we are on the right track
The further you get in your life, the more critics you can expect. It means that people are paying attention to you. Steven Pressfield said that criticism is what you really want as a creative person, he calls it “the supreme compliment.”
5. You prove worthy of other people’s energy
When someone is talking about you it means that you are affecting them somehow. They are using their time and attention to talk about you. Funnily enough, being the subject of someone’s criticism can be a very flattering thing. If I may quote another fabulous person, Oscar Wilde famously said, “there is only one thing worse than being talked about…”.
6. It teaches you about yourself
I was so sensitive when I first started writing. I was shocked at the venom of online commenters. Sometimes some responses can be helpful as they point out something that I never considered or they highlight a different way of looking at something. But in the end, I have to approve of my work. The more confident I feel in who I am, the less influenced I am by other people. The way you let criticism impact you is a great barometer of how strong you are becoming.
There will always be people who disagree with you or who dislike your ideas and actions. Forgive them if they upset you. Remember that the road to success invites a lot of critics so the sooner you know what to take on board and what to release, the better. The fact that criticism exists at all also reminds us that all we can ever do is our best – speak our truth, deliver our greatest work and surrender the rest.
By Fattima Mahdi
It doesn’t matter what you say, how you behave or the way you act. People will talk. They always have. It’s just the way it is. Sure, you want to be liked, smiled at and applauded. You want people to like you. But, remember that the decisions you make will always be scrutinised by others. Therefore, it is important that you don’t allow other people’s opinions to define who you are.
It truly doesn’t matter what other people think of you, always trust your intuition. When you listen to your desires and dreams, you end up living a happier life. Live a life with passion and be confident in yourself. Follow your own dreams and live the life that you want, not the life that somebody else thinks you need.
Nobody will ever be as invested in your life as you. This is why you should always do what you know is right for you. Don’t base your decision on what other people think about what you’re doing. After all, you’re the one who has to live with the end result. When people give their suggestions, there is no risk for them. They don’t have to live with your choices – but you do.
What’s Right For Someone Else May Be Wrong For You. It is important to note that people’s opinions are often based on what they would do. We are all different and see the world through a different lens. We’re the product of different experiences, different upbringings and different values and beliefs. There is no right opinion because what’s right for them, may be completely wrong for you.
You Will Never Please Everyone
It’s literally impossible to please everyone. No matter what decision you make, some people will never approve of what you choose. There is always someone quick to judge your career path, what you do for your children, who your friends are and everything else in between. You will never ever please them all, so you might as well do what you feel is right. You have the freedom to approve your own choices and do the best for you and your family.
That’s all that matters.